Pre-Marriage Arrangements

Like with everything else in Vietnam everything is steeped with rich cultural heritage.  The same goes for weddings.

Before partners were chosen by the parents and extended family, this is not common now, but other traditional steps must be taken.

  1. Now the in love couple will decide that they want to get married.  Then the groom organizes a lady mediator to go and discuss the proposed marriage with his perspective wives family.  They set a date suitable for the family to visit.

2.  The next important event is when the family members from the man’s side come to visit the women’s family to discuss the finer details of the wedding.

With them they bring gifts for the family including areca nuts, betel leaves, tea, cake, fruits, wines and other edible delicacies.  These items are covered with red cloth and delivered to the family home with the help of unmarried young teenage boys and girls.    At that time a good date for the wedding is set.

 

3.  After that event a fortune teller is employed to ensure that the couple are suited for each other, if the outcome is bad the wedding is discouraged.

 

4.  The date of the actual wedding is also up for debate as it must be an auspicious day for both the husband and wife, and then the actual time of day has to be set.  Because of this weddings can be delayed.

 

Pre Wedding Day – official photos are often taken

The wedding day arrives so the groom’s family go to the bride’s house to ask permission that it is ok for their son to marry this woman.

 

A stunning couple on their wedding day !! (2007)
A stunning couple on their wedding day !! (2007)

The couple will pray before the ancestors alters asking permission for their marriage; and they also pay respects to both sets of parents for bringing them up and protecting them.

 

A party will be held of varying degrees; in days gone by this could just mean people enjoying tea and biscuits together.  Now days it all depends on the finances of the family at what type of party is put on.

 

Often a party will be held in the family home or in a marquee if room is limited; or hotel parties are held for families who can afford them.

Wedding Flowers taped onto the wedding car !
Wedding Flowers taped onto the wedding car !

It is common practice like in many other countries that brides rent their wedding gown.  Before the actual date of the wedding the wedding photos are taken.  It is common to see couples all dressed up getting shots taken at hot spots in town.  This includes on the steps of the Opera House, in parks and in temple grounds.

The double happiness sign features in every wedding.  This will be displayed on the wedding cars, on walls near the house, stuck to window, at the function and on the box for the money.

 

Traditionally after the wedding the newly wed couple are expected to go and live with the grooms family as many family homes are 3 or 4 generation.